Whites Need not Apply: FireAid Only for Brown and Darker

Los Angeles, CA—As the Washington Free Beacon reported, over $100M in funds were raised in February for victims of the California Wildfires, but only for non-whites. FireAid promised to distribute the funds “equitably”—which means they dole out money by shade of skin. The darker you are, the quicker you will receive funds.

FireAid has stressed on its website that you can go to many locations around Los Angeles and someone will help you scan your skin to determine its melanin content and your order in line. Unfortunately, if you’re an albino African American, you just aren’t in luck this time around.

Critics say the move is pretty racist but proponents question how many whites were actually impacted by the fire.

“I just feel like if you came out of that disaster, and you’re still white, were you really even in the fire?” questioned Jamal Jackson, 35, who’s $4.8M Palisades mansion had some slight charring after the fires earlier this year. “People acting like we out here with hundreds of thousands of dollars in liquid cash to repair our houses.” Jackson has been living in his second house for 6 months, waiting on his FireAid assistance to come through so he can repaint his house.

Others didn’t fare so well. “This was all we had,” Kenneth Brimley said as he showed us the empty foundation where his 2,500 sqft. house once stood. He purchased the home in 2021 for $499K. He’s been camping in a tent on his property with his four children since they lost their home in February. “The city hasn’t even given me a permit to work on my property yet. The police keep coming by to kick us out of our tent. We keep having to sneak onto our own property to camp in the middle of the night because we don’t have a camping permit.”

“I lent them my phone to watch Netflix,” said Bob Bithers, 56, the homeless man who sleeps in a tent in front of Brimley’s empty lot. “The police gave me an extra free phone because they disturbed me in my tent when they were kicking Kenny out of his tent and they felt bad they woke me up.”

Such is the state of California after the wildfires. We attempted to contact Gavin Newsome for a comment, but he was appearing on yet another podcast trying to appear human.

Brosé Sanchez

America First voice from Florida. Shares bold takes on culture, hypocrisy & history. Pronouns are: I, you, he/she, we, you, they. You should've learned that in grade school.

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